To believe that your happiness is dependent on how another acts is wrong. You are responsible for your own happiness. No one else is, not your partner, family, boss, friends, co-workers. It all comes down to you. Now, I realize, especially if you are going through a challenging time with another person you might not want to hear that message. Believe me, I know. There have been times in my life when I was really struggling and if someone would have told me this I would have gone into a story about how they just didn’t “get it”
And then, finally, I “got it” and my life changed for the better. When you get it, yours will too. When you let how another person acts keep you from being happy you are giving your power away. You know that boss that you hate? Yep, that’s right.. By staying angry at her you are giving your power away. Sure, there are times in life when people show up that are jerks. But your reaction to them is your responsibility.
Speaking of responsibility, this word gets a bad rap. People often get responsibility mixed up with blame. Blame insinuates that someone is at fault. People often do not want to take responsibility because they do not want to be blamed or at fault. The truth is that taking responsibility is empowering and does not mean that anyone is to blame.
If your boss is truly a “jerk” then it is up to you to choose to create moving forward situations where you are honored and respected. It is up to you to make the choice to experience something different and then take the steps to create it. You might need to examine your belief systems around being valued. By taking responsibility for your belief systems, instead of being a stuck victim, you can create the space for the situation to show up differently, or perhaps a new job where you are honored and respected. If you are thinking, “ok fine, but it’s my family member- or fill in the blank of someone who can’t be replaced- who causes me grief” The same principle applies. You must have your belief systems in harmony with what you choose to create. People respond to your energy. If you are expecting a fight, or to be treated like a victim, someone will show up and mirror that to you. It is not your responsibility to change the behavior of another. If they do things you do not like you can not change their ways. You can however change how you react. By taking responsibility for how you respond, and the energy you are putting out into the world, you have the opportunity to create more peaceful situations in which people can positively respond to you.
Let me know what you think about the idea of taking responsibility. Leave me a comment and let’s chat about it.